The Beginning of the Beginning

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m watching my favourite anime. The sun is setting and you can hear the crickets outside my window. But the darker it gets the heavier my heart grows.

Tomorrow is Monday.

fcbtb

I just have to go to work tomorrow.

That’s it.

I have to wake up (really really early) and show up. I look in the mirror. Why does this unsettle me so much? Is the security a job comes with really worth your piece of mind? I’m officially a cog in the wheel whose existence has become mundane.

It’s a Thursday morning and I look up at my monitor and there’s a new email. It’s from HR. A subject in bold blue reads “INTERNSHIP CONTRACT”. The email itself is brief, all it says is “Please come see me on the afore mentioned matter.”

“So, you see we can’t have interns longer than six months, but with this you can remain here for the period your internship was going to end.” I listen on as she tells me that due to budget cuts my remuneration wouldn’t change but that I’d have benefits I didn’t have before. I politely thank her and tell her I need a day to decide.

I look at this new contract and I grow livid, there are no benefits (she didn’t think I’d read the contract?), the job title sounds about as real as the tooth fairy who I can’t even afford because I there is no health care included. But there was a tiny part of me that was hopeful, I didn’t have to wait it out anymore. Looking back at it now I saw that as a way out. And I took it.

On the 27th of April.

I don’t sign the contract.

In hindsight, I probably should have accepted that sub-par agreement. I could have stayed with my wonderful department and waited this whole crisis out, plus it doesn’t hurt to gain more experience. But I didn’t and I can’t change the past, so onwards I must go.

We all have this manuscript of Life programmed into us as we grow:

Go to school. Pass. Graduate. Intern. Gain Experience. Get the job of your dreams. Make Money. Be Happy.

The country’s economy’s a mess right now. But you know what?

I’m writing this and tomorrow’s Monday. And I got zero dread in me.

So, I’d say I’m in a pretty good place.

This is my Journey. To happiness.

 

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