Days

(I wrote this on the 2nd of March 2016. Dealing with and trying to get out of an emotionally abusive-toxic relationship.)

Day 1: You are still in love,
so you beg him not to leave. You bleed,
you claw and your eyes sting with salt.

 

He stays.

You have no piece of yourself left.

Day 2: you don’t recognize last night’s beggar in the mirror.

You try to pick the pieces of your worth off the floor.

All of them screaming,

 

“What have you done?”

 

Day 3:  He doesn’t tell you he’s sorry.

You are afraid of the ghost you let stay.

 

Day 4: Your friends all tell you that you deserve better.

 

Day 5: Your voice slowly starts to disappear.

You are all you hear now.

You are the only one who will listen.

 

Day 6: The Devil lies to you.

 

Day 8: God picks you up.

 

Day 10: You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Hair tousled. Ready for bed.

And you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

 

You are made of pain yet your smile is of the same thing sun rays and soft wet rain drops hitting the earth are.

 

Delirium.

 

Today: you love yourself more than you ever did before.

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